Beebaw and Akee

I was thinking today that Matthew knew some funny words. They're mostly words with which most 16-month olds are unfamiliar with. Can you figure them out?
beebaw, teekaw, akee, peekah peekaw, ah yoo, tattoo

Obviously, the last one is tattoo. He's quite obsessed with them, after having gotten one from the JCS festival a month ago. One time, Ellie scribbled all over her arms, then all over his. He declared these scribbles to be tattoos, so everytime he sees a pen, he requests tattoos to be drawn on him. Ellie also thinks that if you take stickers and wet them on your arm, they become tattoos. So at least one member of my household gets a "tattoo" on a daily basis.

Beebaw? Any takers? That would be lolipop, a word that is near and dear to my Matty's heart. Whenever we go to Peter's office (which is at least once a week), he IMMEDIATELY is rewarded with a beebaw from Sandy Eemo, aka Meemo. For awhile, as soon as he saw Sandy, Matthew would immediately begin his chant of beebaw, beebaw, beebaw until he got what he wanted. NOW all you have to do is mention Sandy's name for the beebaw mantra to begin.

Teekaw? Sticker. I don't know why in the world we have so many stickers at our house, but they are literally everywhere. Floor, walls, kitchen, bathroom, stairs, carpet, bathtub... I remember I used to save my stickers. Peeling them was a travesty - it RUINED them! I don't know why I collected them since they were never really put to use, but I do remember the sparkly ones, scented ones, fuzzy ones and googly-eyed ones being of particular value. Ellie clearly does not share my sticker philosophy. The girl peels and sticks entire pages of stickers within minutes. Anyway, Matthew loves stickers, even address labels, which he will promptly apply to his entire body and whatever other parts of the house are not yet stickered.

Akee? That would be ice cream. We have these plastic ice cream cones from the 99 cent only store. Just a few days ago, he came to me with the pink one yelling AKEE AKEE! I don't know how he knows that word. I guess Ellie talks about ice cream a lot, but we usually eat it either when he's asleep or when he isn't there. We went to Baskin Robbins last night, though, and he was shouting AKEE AKEE until he got... an empty cone. This he relished with delight.

Peekah peekaw? Those with children may be familiar with Barney's clean-up song - Clean up, clean up, everybody everywhere, clean up, clean up, everybody do your share. I use this song to feebly attempt to motivate my messy daughter to clean up her toys. Somehow it's turned into Matthew singing "Peekah peekaw," carrying a large trash can around, putting stuff in it (like his clean clothes, eating utensils, my wallet), them dumping the trash can out in various rooms of our house. I guess technically, he loves to clean up. That'll be a good thing once he figures out how to do it correctly.

Ah yoo? Where are you? This phrase is used to refer to blankets (under which he hides and calls out, "Ah yoo?") or any object large enough to cover his face, and is sometimes used correctly when he's looking for things. Actually, just yesterday he was calling, "Mommy! Ah yoo?" That was cute. Made me melt a little bit.

He's at such a fun age. Seriously, our crazy boy is hilarious. I love seeing him explore the world, figure out his boundaries, copy his big sister, do some baby problem solving... he spent 5 minutes trying to reach a sticker on the bottom of the trash can by leaning over it and futiley wiggling his too-short arm around in the receptacle. So cute!

Um, I just realized that most 16-year olds don't know some of these words because really, 16-month olds should not be familiar with lolipops, ice cream and tattoos. What can you do with a big preschooler sister? My poor third child will be eating those darn sugar-free lolipops before a year, I'm sure. Ah well. Whatever keeps us sane!

Matthew's strong arm

Matthew likes to throw. We used to praise him when he threw balls or threw toys. Naturally, he got the idea that throwing is GOOD. Now he likes to throw clothes, throw eating utensils, throw cups full of water, throw food off the highchair... Not so good.

I've been frustrated with my crazy boy these days because he will NOT be disciplined. I don't know what it was with Ellie. She was seriously inherently obedient. She didn't have to get punished at all until she was about 2. Matthew, on the other hand, is not obedient. Not necessarily that he's DISobedient. He does what he's supposed to, generally speaking. But tell him no, and that means very little to him.

I started off smacking him on the hand when he did things like whack Ellie (fortunately, she's the only one he whacks), grab toys from other babies, throw stuff, etc. He'd smile and either smack me back on the arm or start smacking the table. He thought it was a game - a fun smacking game. Good times.

The other day he continuously threw his food on the floor. Each time I'd smack his hand and say no in a stern voice, then explain why that was naughty. Then he'd smile, smack the highchair tray, and throw some more food. All right, I thought after three attempts, that's enough. Time for a spanking. I told him no again, explained that what he did was naughty, then took him to my room and spanked him twice. Pretty hard, I thought. I wondered how he'd react. He paused a couple of seconds, looked at me, smiled, then chuckled.

ARGH! I was so mad! How dare this little boy be so defiant! Laughing in my face at the time of punishment... this was definitely Jung genes. Then Matthew comes up to me, still laughing, and hugs me. That's when I realized. He's not really being mischievous or defiant. Like Peter tried to tell me, he's not a bad kid. He's not mean, he's not aggressive, he doesn't hit (aside from whacking Ellie, which he always immediately follows with a kiss). He's sweet, he's loving, he's social, he's affectionate, and he's endearing. He's just also nuts. My simple happy boy is simply happy. Everything is fun, everything is funny to him. Throwing food? Fun! Playing the smacking game? Funny!

I don't know if this makes me feel better or worse. I felt better with the realization that he actually wasn't being outwardly defiant. However, the realization that it is going to be RIDICULOUSLY difficult to discipline the boy is discouraging. I feel like I need to establish some sort of system with him before the baby's born. I don't want to put him in time out in his crib because he's SO good about going to sleep by himself and hanging out contentedly in bed. I definitely don't want his bed to be a negative place for him. I could try putting him in time out somewhere else, but the boy doesn't sit still when you're holding him in your lap!

If anyone has suggestions, I'm open to them. Sheesh. What a difference between girls and boys.

Seriously, though - could YOU discipline my Matthew? He gives you that goofy grin or a headbutt hug or a slobbery kiss... all anger goes down the drain. Sigh. Raising him is going to be an adventure.

What I Miss

14 weeks pregnant. The only way I keep track is by looking at the ticker on my blog. Sad.

Most of my friends know I don't enjoy being pregnant. I am consoled by the fact that this will be my last. Unlike those who sappily enjoy every moment of these 9 months, I have no remorse nor regret about never having this experience again.

There are many reasons I don't enjoy pregnancy. My reflux is crazy, I'm extremely tired, it's uncomfortable, and I get really really gassy. Fortunately for everyone I know, I'm one of those prudish people who won't pass gas in front of people, even Peter in most circumstances. Unfortunately for me, that makes for much bloating and discomfort from holding it in. I have to say that when I'm pregnant, I let go of some of the modesty. At least in front of Peter.

SO I miss not being able to eat whatever I want (especially fruit), having a desire to cook, letting Matthew bounce on my tummy, sleeping on my stomach, sleeping through the night without getting up to pee, coffee, and occassional frozen margaritas at Mexican restaurants. Soon I will miss sleeping for more than 3 hours straight, non-elasticized clothes, seeing my toes, holding two kids at once, my bellybutton being an innie and general comfort.

BUT there are things I miss about childlessness even more. Namely sleeping in, not having to force myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour, hanging out with friends anywhere and anytime, getting the opportunity to shave my legs on a regular basis, having time to moisturize after showers, peeing without being interrupted, getting regular haircuts, thinking about things like eye cream without laughing, not having to schedule date nights, having somewhat of a figure and wearing insensible shoes.

HOWEVER, there are things I'm so used to now that I'd never be able to live without. Ellie climbing in our bed every morning, cuddle time, Matthew's sloppy wet kisses, "Mommy mommy mommy," baby naps on my chest, hilarious musings of a 3-year old, observing speech development, supporting Matthew's obsession with Crocs, daily discoveries, baby problem solving, being fed chewed up soggy food, constant hugs and smiles, being a hero...

It ain't a glamorous job, but it's worth it. But still, thank goodness I'm on my last job. I'm tired.

Overwhelmed

I have too much on my plate.

About a week before I discovered I was pregnant, I volunteered to teach Ellie's Sunday school class for this year. Around a week before that, I volunteered to be the wedding coordinator for New Life. I figured Matthew was getting more independent, Ellie was doing great with a large variety of baby-sitters (Matthew loves everyone), and it was time for me to get more involved in ministry. I also wanted to take a flower arranging class and experiment more with cooking.

Then wouldn't you know it, I get pregnant. This actually happened when I got pregnant with Matthew. I started looking into some volunteering positions at the Crisis Pregnancy Center, thinking I could go while Ellie was in school. Then, BAM! Pregnant.

For awhile, I was really struggling. Why would God choose this moment in time to expand our family when I really was excited about getting more involved in ministry? Then someone was telling me about what Anita Carmen had spoken about at a conference. She said that although she is in full-time evangelical ministry now, her full-time ministry for many years was to be a mom, raising her children in a godly way.

So then I accepted that that was my lot for the next few years at least. And I was fine with that, really. Spend time with my kids when they're babies and in their most formative years, mold them into strong characters, prepare them for the world... After a week or so of struggling, I resolved in my mind and heart that this is what God wanted.

EXCEPT... here I now am, teaching Ellie's Sunday school class, creating a church wedding policy, shopping for dressing room furnishings, meeting with the coordinators/brides/wedding parties of the two August weddings, and now even going to meetings to plan the JCS portion of the New Life Retreat, at which I somehow volunteered to lead a preschool session.

Is this what God had in store for me? Not only raise my kids, but be actively involved in ministry? I don't know if the decisions I made were the right ones. I'm feeling DARN overwhelmed and completely exhausted these days. Thank goodness Peter had this weekend off, because I was at church all weekend. Friday I was setting up my classroom, furnishing a dressing room for the bridal party, meeting with the bride, then rushing home to get the kids' materials ready for house church. Saturday morning was pretty lax, then I went early to church to help get ready for the wedding. Sunday morning was a meeting with next weekend's wedding coordinator, JCS meeting, church, retreat meeting, then house church village picnic. Needless to say, I'm tired.

I guess I need to be pickier about how I choose to get involved. Obviously I should be more prayerful, because I don't think this is what God intended for my ministry (complete exhaustion and the desire to surrender). So if you see me with bags under my eyes or stress on my face, you'll know why. Ugh.

Thinking

It will be interesting to see what the 2 freed Korean hostages say about the experience. I wonder if the group as a whole knew the entire world was watching them. I wonder how they were treated. I wonder what freedoms they were allowed. I wonder how much of the reporting from the Taliban side was true.

I figure since the entire thing was a mission trip to begin with, they all felt fairly convicted in their faith. Why else would they volunteer to go to such a dangerous place? At some point, even if it were in the way back of their minds, they must have considered capture and/or imprisonment of some sort. Were they trained for such a situation, physically, spiritually, emotionally?

When they were first taken hostage, after the initial shock and horror wore off, I thought to myself that this was an amazing opportunity for them to exemplify to the world faith in Christ. They would stand strong, not back down in their faith, be persecuted willingly for the name of Jesus. They would be a witness to the Taliban crazies that their faith was more than religion or lifestyle, and it would impact them. Then their leader was killed. Then the Taliban demands weren't met, and another member was killed. Then they were all sick, two of them allegedly dangerously ill. What would be their response?

A cell phone message was replayed where one girl is sobbing and begging for rescue, they don't want to die, they don't want to be there, please help them in any way. A Taliban report says that they have been teaching Muslim ideology to their captives, and the hostages are earnestly considering conversion to the Muslim faith.

Me, being the judgmental Pharisee that I am, also never having experienced any type of persecution in my life, was disappointed in them. So much for the opportunity. What good will come out of this trip? Two of them died nobly, serving God, true. What will the lives of the remaining team members be like, especially after they return home?

Then I wondered how I would handle the situation. What would I have said? Would I have done or said anything to ensure my safety? Would I have succumb to pressure, or would I really have had the faith to boldly proclaim what I believe in, no matter what the consequences? Had I been living in Biblical times, would I have endangered myself to stoning or imprisonment for the sake of the name of Christ? At this point, I would have to say realistically, no. I think I would've succumbed and weenied out.

I dunno. My faith is going through a weird thing these days. It's good because it's being challenged. A lot of issues and questions are going through my mind these days, though. I'm looking forward to seeing how God will stretch me and mold me in the days to come.

Dur dur etre bebe

My junior year of high school we had to translate a song from French to English. The song the teacher chose was Dur Dur Etre Bebe, which translated, means It's so tough to be a baby. Uh... OK. It was like, this 4-year old singing sensation or something. Probably people in France had never heard of the song, but it was some sort of novelty in America. Whatever.

Anyway, it's so fun to watch Matthew as his language skills develop, in addition to his comprehension of the world around him. For some reason, he's become significantly more independent in the past couple of weeks (GREAT for me). He used to cling to me constantly when out in public, but at church yesterday, he was wandering around, letting all kinds of people hold him (especially people with food). What's particularly hilarious is when he tries to talk to these random people. Matthew is ALWAYS talking. About 75% is still incoherent babbling, but he has a pretty extensive vocabulary. For example:

People he knows by name: Mommy, Daddy, Ellie (ah-yee), Grandma (ma-maw), Grandpa (ma-baw), 3 different girls named Abby, Audrey (ahjee), Lauren (rahree), Jojo, Joe, Uncle Paul (uh-paw), Uncle (uh-coe)

Characters he recognizes: Elmo (ahmo), Dora (rora), Blue (boo), Max (mass), Ruby (ooby), Pablo from Backyardigans (pahbo), most elephants (he makes elephant sounds)

Food: Bap, cheese (jee), apple (ah-puh also includes pears, peaches, mangoes, and raspberries), banana (nana), melon (also nana), juice (joo), water (wawa), food (mama), apple juice (ah-puh joo)

Communicative words: up, down (dow), out (ow), ow (ow), open (uppy), please (me or sometimes beese), no no, night night (nie nie), bye, hi, uh oh, all gone (agaw)

Items: shoe (joo), fork (boh), spoon (boo), sticker (teecaw), tattoo (ddaddoo), backpack (bapa), phone (hi), toothbrush (ee), vacuum (also ee), car (caw), baby, camera (jee, aka cheese), train (joo joo), book (beu), ball (baw)

I'm sure there are others I can't think of right now. Anyway, the point is that some are clearly understood. When he points to a ball and says "baw," most people will get him the ball. However, if he sees a toothbrush and is yelling, "Ee! Ee! Me!" they are baffled (translated - toothbrush, toothbrush, please).

Sometimes I forget how young he is or how limited his vocabulary is. Especially on mornings he decides to get up at 6:30, when he's walking around our room requesting different things (usually by yelling, me me me!), I find myself often saying to him, "Use your words!" Except... he doesn't have that many.

We've also been trying to get him to switch from pronouncing "please" as "me" to "beese." I taught him please to be polite, but he yells, "ME ME ME!" at the top of his lungs, sort of negating the politeness factor. He was asking me for gum yesterday, and I said no. He goes, "Me!" I said no again. "Me! Me!" Still no. Then he thinks a minute and goes, "Beese!" I said, "I know you're saying please, Matthew, but you still cannot have gum." He answers, "ME!" in this tone of voice that was like, um, hello? But I SAID please! What's the deal here? Obviously some lessons are yet to be learned.

Anyway, if you ever try to communicate with my crazy boy, hopefully this will help. :) He's so cute these days. He just tickles my heart.