Ages and Stages

I remember before I had kids, I'd look forward to playing with my favorite ones at church every week. I remember being excited that the Hwangs moved to our neighborhood so I could see Abby. I remember Wesley running to "Meemo" every Sunday and requesting to take him home with us. I remember asking Jonathan to pick us up from a trip and bring Justin so we could see him.

Then, slowly but surely, these babies grew up. They became more independent, they liked me less, they were more interested in playing with their friends, and frankly - became a little less cute. Not less attractive, physically speaking, but less like babies. Let's face it - I, like many people, prefer babies.

So it's making me sad these days that Ellie is at that age where she's outgrown babyhood. I see my friends, some of them Ellie's most loyal eemos in the past, losing interest in her. Honestly, she's at the age now where I start losing interest in other kids. Conveniently, I have Matthew, who's at one of the most fun stages. He recognizes people, remembers things about them, and says and does all kinds of entertaining things. She doesn't seem resentful or jealous when people pay attention to him, but she is more sensitive towards certain people (Sandy, for example) if she gets ignored.

My poor big girl. Even I find myself looking forward to hanging out with Matthew more sometimes. I mean, of course I love my daughter. She's an awesome kid - so smart, so sweet, so funny, so loving. But Matthew is just ridiculously cute right now. The 1-2 year old stage is my favorite, hands down. I wonder if she senses it, though. In the past couple of weeks, she's become a lot clingier to me. I hope I'm not subconsciously pulling away from her or anything. I'm actually making concerted efforts to talk about her as much as I do about Matthew, spend alone time with her, etc. I try to make sure that others acknowledge her when we go places, and I try to give her the spotlight as much as possible.

I'm worried about two things now once the baby comes. #1 - Will Ellie become even MORE neglected/ignored? Will she fade even more into the background as she becomes the nurturing big sister? Or maybe jealousy will kick in this time around as she demands attention. That would not be good, either. And #2 - How will it be for Matthew in two years when the baby is all cute, he's getting boring, and he's the woeful middle child? He won't be the baby, and he won't even be the only boy. At least Ellie has the only girl thing going for her. Sigh.

So if you see my family, please make sure you acknowledge my semi-neglected daughter in between laughing and cuddling with my crazy boy. Sad!

On a lighter note, I discovered that I can fit three real carseats (not just a portable booster) in the backseat of my car. Hopefully the minivan will not be a necessity for this not-even-30-year-old mom anytime soon! Hooray!