Matthew's strong arm

Matthew likes to throw. We used to praise him when he threw balls or threw toys. Naturally, he got the idea that throwing is GOOD. Now he likes to throw clothes, throw eating utensils, throw cups full of water, throw food off the highchair... Not so good.

I've been frustrated with my crazy boy these days because he will NOT be disciplined. I don't know what it was with Ellie. She was seriously inherently obedient. She didn't have to get punished at all until she was about 2. Matthew, on the other hand, is not obedient. Not necessarily that he's DISobedient. He does what he's supposed to, generally speaking. But tell him no, and that means very little to him.

I started off smacking him on the hand when he did things like whack Ellie (fortunately, she's the only one he whacks), grab toys from other babies, throw stuff, etc. He'd smile and either smack me back on the arm or start smacking the table. He thought it was a game - a fun smacking game. Good times.

The other day he continuously threw his food on the floor. Each time I'd smack his hand and say no in a stern voice, then explain why that was naughty. Then he'd smile, smack the highchair tray, and throw some more food. All right, I thought after three attempts, that's enough. Time for a spanking. I told him no again, explained that what he did was naughty, then took him to my room and spanked him twice. Pretty hard, I thought. I wondered how he'd react. He paused a couple of seconds, looked at me, smiled, then chuckled.

ARGH! I was so mad! How dare this little boy be so defiant! Laughing in my face at the time of punishment... this was definitely Jung genes. Then Matthew comes up to me, still laughing, and hugs me. That's when I realized. He's not really being mischievous or defiant. Like Peter tried to tell me, he's not a bad kid. He's not mean, he's not aggressive, he doesn't hit (aside from whacking Ellie, which he always immediately follows with a kiss). He's sweet, he's loving, he's social, he's affectionate, and he's endearing. He's just also nuts. My simple happy boy is simply happy. Everything is fun, everything is funny to him. Throwing food? Fun! Playing the smacking game? Funny!

I don't know if this makes me feel better or worse. I felt better with the realization that he actually wasn't being outwardly defiant. However, the realization that it is going to be RIDICULOUSLY difficult to discipline the boy is discouraging. I feel like I need to establish some sort of system with him before the baby's born. I don't want to put him in time out in his crib because he's SO good about going to sleep by himself and hanging out contentedly in bed. I definitely don't want his bed to be a negative place for him. I could try putting him in time out somewhere else, but the boy doesn't sit still when you're holding him in your lap!

If anyone has suggestions, I'm open to them. Sheesh. What a difference between girls and boys.

Seriously, though - could YOU discipline my Matthew? He gives you that goofy grin or a headbutt hug or a slobbery kiss... all anger goes down the drain. Sigh. Raising him is going to be an adventure.