Ugh

That word describes how I've been feeling the past week. No strength, no energy, no desire to eat, and just ready to not be pregnant anymore. Can I be ready for this when I'm only 9 weeks along, you ask? Well, seeing as I've been either pregnant or nursing for pretty much the last 4 years straight, yes - I am ready to have my body be my own again. I'm definitely getting my tubes tied after this one.

Anyhoo, I was planning on writing all this stuff about our trip, but I have no energy to do much more than complain. I'd like to share, for those of you who were just longing for more inappropriate information about my body, things that are going on with my body. For instance, I am breaking out in little eczema patches all over my arms and legs. Random. I actually developed this rash under my wedding ring, and the skin is all scaly and peeling. I haven't been wearing my ring, so now I look like an unwed teenaged pregnant mother of two.

I have no strength in my arms or shoulders. Like, my body is constantly exhausted, but I feel it most in my arms. I can't hold Ellie for more than a couple of minutes, Matthew maybe 5. I had to do 7 loads of laundry today, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sore.

I have constant heartburn. This happened both times before as well. My reflux doesn't seem to be as bad this time, although it's still omnipresent. A constant burning of the esophagus is not fun. I think that as a result of the reflux, also, I have a constant yucky taste in my mouth. Ellie is loving it because now I always have gum.

I am constipated as anything. Strangely, when I got pregnant with Ellie, I actually became quite regular. Probably for the first time in my life. I stayed that way until Matthew was born, then returned to my normal ways. Now I'm even worse. I feel all plugged up. I want more than anything to poo. I actually spend quite a bit of time on the toilet, trying to convince my body to do its business, but it is seldom successful. I need prune juice.

I'm just so TIRED. I think when I first found out I was pregnant, it was a combination of many things - sudden forced caffeine withdrawal, low blood sugar (from lack of eating), anemia (from being pregnant and not taking prenatals), and then making a placenta. I'm hoping this will resolve itself in the second trimester, but I'm thinking that chasing Ellie and Matthew around only add to the exhaustion. Matthew, especially.

I know I'm better off than those women who barf constantly or are bedridden by nausea, but I'm the biggest weenie and have an incredibly low tolerance for... suffering of any sort. Actually, that's not true. I totally don't mind being in crazy villages in Mexico where goats eat your toilet paper in the outhouses. I guess I just have a low tolerance for... the first trimester of pregnancy. OK, I better stop. I'm annoying myself now.