The clash of my brain and stomach

I was looking at that 50 foods thing again, and it made me feel sick. It'd be interesting to do it again with how I feel at this exact moment. Most of the things would be completely blank as I have no desire to eat anything. I don't crave anything (OK, I was craving salami and cream cheese sandwiches earlier this week - random). It's the strangest thing. I crave... not eating. Like, I REALLY would like to not have to eat. Unfortunately, I know I have to, and also my stomach starts burning if it's too empty.

So sometimes I think about certain foods, and part of me is thinking, "Yeah! That'd be good!" Then immediately after that thought, I cringe at the idea of eating it. So, is that my brain saying I want something and my stomach disagreeing, or vice-versa? I think it's more of a clash between my brain... and my brain. I dunno.

Those who know me know I don't do sick very well. Fortunately I have an immune system of steel. When everyone else in my family is sick, I very rarely get the bug. Thank goodness for that, since Peter tends to get EXTREMELY sick when he's sick at all (fever, shivering, the whole nine yards). UNfortunately, when I do get sick, on those rare occasions, I am the biggest baby ever. Uh... I've been feeling sick now for over a month straight, 24/7. NOT handling it well, to say the least. My poor family.

Every day is an adventure - will it be a good food day? A functional day? A completely exhausted and non-eating day? Who knows? Yesterday I did all this laundry in the morning and ate Chick Fil-A for lunch, scarfing down almost all my fries and all my nuggets. I was all excited that I seemed normal again. Then by the time I got home, I had NO strength and couldn't eat anything for the rest of the day.

Today I cooked dinner for the first time in awhile because Bobby came over to practice the JCS skit. I made chicken galbi, which completely grossed me out. I also made kimchee jun, which appealed to my brain but not my stomach. As usual, I made rice in the downstairs guest bathroom so I wouldn't have to smell it. Then after I served dinner, I had to leave the table because looking at the food made me feel horribly ill. Ironically, Peter had a stomach bug, so he was hardly able to eat (the one time I actually make Korean food, too), Matthew is currently on hunger strike, and Ellie wasn't even home. What a waste.

Right now, I really want a pickle. Specifically, the pickles they give you at Jason's Deli with your sandwich. Last time we ate there, the pickle was incredibly delicious. I actually sat and ate pickles and ice cream and felt like a total cliche. WHOOPS! Don't want that pickle anymore. Ew. Gross gross gross, pickles. See how I work? So annoying.