Evil Girl Scout Cookies

Did anyone else indulge in Girl Scout Cookies this year? They are a major weakness for me and Peter. It started off with 2 boxes each of Peanut Butter Patties (his favorite) and Caramel Delites (my favorite), ordered from the daughter of one of Peter's MAs. Those were quickly consumed, so I took Ellie out on a mission to find more.

After driving fruitlessly by two grocery stores, I saw a bunch of girls closing up shop outside of Randalls. I bought 6 boxes, I believe, two each of the previously mentioned and two of the Thin Mints. While purchasing them, I asked when the sale would end. March 26, about two weeks away. So on March 23, I went to Kroger under the guise of needing birdseed for house church crafts, but really to stock up on cookies. I got 3 boxes each of the Peanut Butter Patties and Caramel Delites, then just 2 of the Thin Mints (there are more of those in each box). Today is March 29. We have 2 boxes of Caramel Delites left, 1 1/2 of the Peanut Butter Patties, and 1 3/4 of the Thin Mints.

Does anyone realize how many cookies that is?!!? I don't even look at the nutritional facts for fear of a heart attack. Not that I should worry, since the heart attack will surely come from the mass consumption of Girl Scout Cookies. And to add to it all, I gained 5 pounds during Cookie season. Ridiculous.

So now I'm on a diet. I started my March 11 resolution (which I am keeping up with, thank you very much), and I also started my March 26 resolution. I'm on a new diet. It's not really a diet, per se, but it's a restriction. Eat whatever I want, but don't eat past 9. Peter and I have this horrible habit of eating full meal quantities of just snack foods at about 11 every night. I've been restraining myself since Monday. I also took the kids for a walk on Monday and Tuesday nights, and now I'm doing crunches every night, too. Sadly, my body is in poor poor shape as I am pathetically sore from that miniscule amount of exercise.

By the way, I need to rant a little. My body has not recovered from baby #2 nearly as well as after baby #1. My abdominal wall seems to be protruding. Like, aside from the extra flesh and my sweet little muffin top, my ab muscles are actually sticking out. Not attractive. We'll see if crunches help at all. Anyway, I might not have a third kid, just because I don't want my body to fall apart even more. By Ellie's first birthday, I was 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. Matthew's turning one in a month. I have a lot to lose. Before Girl Scout cookie season, I was at least my normal weight again. Not even close to my normal body, though. Sigh. The things we women go through... You guys out there will never understand.

Oh, my new diet also includes a restriction of 3 Girl Scout Cookies per day. That doesn't sound like too little, but considering that I'd easily eat half the box in a sitting (Peter ate an ENTIRE box of Peanut Butter Patties in one sitting), 3 is pretty good. We just need to finish the cookies and be done with. Actually, then I have 3 tubs of Otis Spunkmeyer cookie dough in the fridge that I bought for Ellie's school fundraiser. WILL THE TEMPTATIONS NEVER CEASE?!!?

My average boy

Danny read an article saying that you're not supposed to tell your kid he/she is smart, or he/she will be afraid to fail or something in the future. So my parents kept telling their grandkids they're just average, which I think isn't really the point, either. Anyway, I think Matthew might be smart. Not to sound arrogant or anything. Ellie was really verbal as a baby, but she didn't really start talking until after she turned one. Matthew is repeating words like crazy and has about 5 functional words (mama, daddy, bap, ji-ji, aya).

I tried to teach him the Korean baby tricks when he was about 9 months, but he couldn't do them. So I stopped. When we were in California, though, I saw Abby doing them and tried again on Matthew. He could do all but gonji gonji. I had no idea! Then I felt guilty that I wasn't stimulating him intellectually enough. I guess he just reached the age of comprehending and imitating tricks. Really, it's not that impressive that he's 11 months and can clap on command, but I was impressed that he could do them on command immediately after learning them.

He's all sick and cranky these days, but I somehow got him to do a bunch of tricks on video. So here he is. Oh, and yes - our house is always that messy.

Still recovering

We got back from our trip to California on Tuesday, but I am still recovering. Matthew and Ellie are still suffering from a change in their schedules, and we still haven't fully unpacked everything yet. Here are some lowlights from our trip:

• I came up with the "brilliant" plan of bringing Ellie's carseat on the flight to California so she could sleep in it and we wouldn't have to hold her. What ended up happening was that we had to carry her carseat everywhere (along with the double stroller, DVD player, diaper bag, Peter's backpack, Ellie's princess suitcase, and Ellie's backpack), and she wouldn't sleep in it anyway. Boo that idea.
• There was no crib in our hotel room the first night. We all slept in a king-size bed together, and Matthew woke up about 4 times from 12:30 (when we arrived) to 6:00, at which time he decided to wake up for the day. I also got a lecture from the hotel guy about not calling and requesting a crib in advance.
• Ellie decided not to nap during most of the trip, but go to bed at 8 (10 Houston time) and wake up at 9 (11 Houston time).
• Matthew got sick and feverish Saturday night, waking up at 4 am (Sunday morning, I guess) burning up. He was cranky and clingy the rest of the weekend and just broke his fever this morning. He also at his first full meal at dinner tonight. It took him three days to eat a little container of applesauce.
• Despite having a crib the other nights, Matthew continued to wake up at least twice every night due to someone having the nerve to move in their sleep and make any sort of noise.
• Friday night we went out to dinner for my mom's birthday. Ellie came along and didn't fall asleep until 11:30 California time (she HAD napped that day, but still).
• A rambunctious toddler decided to repeatedly squish Matthew in this gated play area thing at Abby's party while his parents and their friends sat and watched. I rescued him twice, waiting for the toddler's parents to take action so as not to rebuke a strange child. No action was ever taken. Boo passive parents.
• Matthew slept 40 minutes on the plane ride back, then crankily wanted to move around the entire remainder of the flight (about 3 hours). Ellie fell asleep 5 minutes before we landed, making it even HARDER to tote all our things around once we were on the ground.

Not that the trip was all bad. In fact, there was definitely more positive than negative. Here are some highlights.

• Grandma and Grandpa were in the hotel room next door, so Matthew got dropped off at 6am while Mommy and Daddy slept. It was also particularly helpful during naptime.
• Abby had a good time with most of us (still unaware of Matthew). She was really friendly and warmed up to us quickly.
• The weather was insanely gorgeous as was the landscaping everywhere. Stanford Mall, especially, was ridiculously beautiful. If only all malls were...
• Ellie had a blast hanging out with family. She didn't even mind not having other kid friends to play with besides Matthew and Abby. She LOVES her cousin!
• Matthew still smiled at everyone, despite his sickness. If anyone was ever in the elevator with us, he'd grin at them until they looked at him. If they didn't look at him, he'd yell out grunts until they did, then beam at them for paying attention to him.
• Peter got his California fixes (eating by the water, In-N-Out, soontubu, sushi).
• We finally met Gloria's skateboarding lawyer fiance Dave and liked him a lot. Peter was excited to learn that Dave had met Tony Hawk, and from this point on will identify him as Dave, Gloria's fiance, who's friends with Tony Hawk.
• Karaoke Revolution.
• We took the kids to the zoo and enjoyed the weather and fun facilities. Although the zoo itself was pretty lame, the rest of it was great. If we lived there, we'd be at Happy Hollow at least once a month, I'm sure.
• I won several rounds of 4 player Dr. Mario (although only on slow speed)! Not bad for being incapable of clearing horizontally.

It's always good to see old friends and family. And nice weather. And flowers on steroids. Sigh. I usually leave California all bitter and resentful. This case included.

Whenever we go, though, I always wonder to myself where I would be had I never left. An interesting discussion I had with Danny and Jieun was regarding the fact that I was "normal." Uh, whatever THAT means. I always thought I was kinda weird, but I think I have normalized somewhat. Probably more so since I became a mom.

More than anything, I'd like to think that I'm comfortable. Meaning, it's easy for people to feel comfortable around me. Like, our house is very comfortable. I guess people would say it's a nice house because it's rather large and spacious, but there's nothing in here that is of any value, hardly any type of decorating other than photos has been attempted, and none of our entertainment appliances are super high tech. It's always a little dirty, usually pretty messy. But it's a comfortable place to hang out. Kinda like me, I think. Yes? No?

Anyway, I think Texas "normalized" me to some extent. Maybe not Texas. Maybe Peter. The fact that he's so weird has forced me to become more normal. Also, being with him exposed me to social groups I'd NEVER have been friends with (rich white people and their parents) and am now comfortable with. I think that played a big part. I'm fairly certain if I'd stayed in California I'd only have Asian, primarily Korean, friends. I don't think I'd have two kids, and I'm almost positive I wouldn't be a stay-at-home mom. Probably married, probably still working, probably tanner from being outdoors.

I have no conclusion to this entry, but I'm one of those who needs at least a conclusive sentence. So... the end.

My March 11 Resolution

As a house church, we decided to make a new year's resolution of reading 5 chapters of the Bible a week. Fairly unambitious. I suggested it sort of condescendingly, thinking it would be the easiest thing to do. Three months later, I've read about 25 chapters.

So I have a One Year Bible, and I've re-resolved to start it up again. I would get behind and be all discouraged when my date was really off, so I decided to just read the entries for whatever the current day is, and squeeze in make-ups whenever I can. I really just want to be more in the Word, you know? I'm feeling a lack of wisdom and guidance these days...

I remember telling people that I was closest to God when I was invested in others' lives, like leading small groups or things to that effect. Um, hello? Being a mother is the greatest investment one could imagine. Yikes! I'm the center of their universe, their guide through life. No pressure! I really want to make an effort to have Ellie see me reading the Bible, praying, etc. This morning, Peter gave her cereal and told her to pray. She said, "Mommy no pray for cereal." She's right! I usually throw it in front of her while I get ready in the mornings. Bad Mommy.

People ask me all the time about growing up with my dad as a pastor, how it must've been such an awesome experience, spiritually. But honestly, I didn't really see my parents read the Bible or pray or even really talk about spiritual things or anything growing up. I mean, now we can talk about spiritual issues, but it wasn't this prevalent thing in our home, you know? My dad would try to do these Bible studies with me and Danny, but it felt really forced and formal to me. A daily spiritual walk just wasn't a part of our normal everyday life. I don't want that for my family, but we're totally headed in that direction already.

We went to this restaurant for lunch on Friday that had a playground. Ellie was bullying a couple of the smaller girls (yelling at one and pushing another). I told her not to be mean, and she responded, "But we don't like that girl." I went into this whole long deal about how Jesus wants us to love everyone, how that makes Him happy, etc. I think it had some impact on her, but not as much as when I said, "What if Abby pushed you and didn't want to play with you?" Abby being unhappy with her was much more threatening than Jesus being unhappy with her. That made me a little sad.

So anyway, pray for me. Pray that I will stick to this, that I will gain wisdom and be a better mother to my kids. Ellie's been trying my patience a lot these days. I DREAD the day she loses her nap for good...

Here's a video of her on her big girl bike. It's for her birthday. She got it early.

Judgmental

First - some random things.

Random thing #1: Someone asked me why I haven't been blogging much these days. The answer is twofold. Mostly because the kids aren't napping at the same time anymore, so when they do overlap, that time is super precious and usually spent eating chocolate and watching guilty pleasures on TV (The Hills, for instance). Also, because no one comments on my blogs anymore! I feel like I'm baring my soul to no one, to pure empty space. Kinda depressing.

Random thing #2: Matthew started trying to repeat after me today. Ellie had some snack that he wanted. He initially was yelling "ba!" as he usually does, but then I told him to say please. He looked at me, looked up thoughtfully, then said, "eesh!" Perhaps a fluke that time, but he DEFINITELY repeated "aya" after me when he pulled my hair, then said "Dada" and "Etty" when I told him to say Dada and Ellie. And he definitely knows the word "mamma" as in, Korean baby word for food. I am distinctly "uma" and food is distinctly "mamma." More like frantic yelling of "mamma!" at the sight of food, when the food given to him has been eaten up, and when I'm cooking. The kid can eat.

Random thing #3: The Azalea trail in Houston was this weekend. I didn't get to go, and I was actually really sad. It's the first year my mom and I didn't go in about 5 years. Really all it is is going to different rich people's houses and looking at their home decor and gardens. I usually don't care about the furniture and decor, but I LOVE looking at the gardens. And it was something my mom and I always did. So kinda sad. Beautiful weather, too. Last year they changed it to just one weekend as opposed to two. Last year, also, it was so hot they were shipping in ice to cool down the azalea bushes so as not to bloom to early. Ridiculous.

Random thing #4: I was always bothered by the spelling of "judgmental" and "judgment". Why is the e dropped? When I taught spelling to first graders, we specifically say that the letters "dge" are necessary to make the /j/ sound, so what the heck is up with that? So based on that, the word should be pronounces "jud guh mental." So there. Anyway...

So I realized lately that I am super judgmental. I remember back in youth group days, the big issues were judging people and gossip. Since my brain only remembers things that I learned pre-babies, I have all these verses memorized about judging, namely - Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

It really bothered me when I realized it. You know what it was that gave me the realization? I asked a friend if she had any pull-ups I could borrow for Ellie since it was late and Ellie was going to fall asleep on the way home (she still wears them overnight). I was expecting Dora or Princess ones, but it was some generic brand with circus animals on it. My initial reaction was, "What? They don't get DORA or PRINCESS ones? What's wrong with them?" My secondary reaction was, "Oh my gosh, did I really just say that in my mind?"

I don't know if it's the inundation of consumerism, but I look at brand names. Maclaren stroller? They must only get unnecessarily expensive stuff for their baby. Costco diapers? Stingy. Underwear without characters on them? Depriving their child. Clothes from Oilily? Money waster.

WHAT?!!? How did I get this way? Am I only this way about baby products? The answer is... no! Of course not! What's lame is that I see people wearing clothes that I myself buy from Old Navy and think to myself, "Can't they afford better clothes?" Uh, hello! Like my entire outfit including shoes doesn't cost under $30? What the heck is my problem?! At least I'm aware of it now and can consciously make an effort to change. And change I must.

The second part of that verse is very true - or you too will be judged. Being judged is one thing I am well aware of. When I'm out with my two kids, I get looks ALL THE TIME that say, "What is that high school dropout doing with two kids?" Now that my baby bangs are growing in, it's more like, "Why isn't that twelve-year old in school instead of taking her baby siblings out?" Argh. I'm know people judge me when they come to my house and it's constantly in a state of chaos. I know I'm being judged when I'm introduced as a doctor's wife in my less than $30 outfit and twelve-year old bangs. Heck, I probably judge myself even more than others do. The only good thing about it is that I honestly don't care that much what people think. I don't try to blowdry the bangs up. I don't try to dress older. I don't try to clean my house (maybe that one I should change). Whatever.

Anyway, I'm really judgmental. So sorry to everyone I've ever met in my life. I've judged you at some point or another. Probably multiple times. I'm really going to try not to. Sorry.

Here are some recent videos:
This is Matthew "singing" into the Echo Microphone, then quickly moving on to something more exciting. Just evidence that he can now gets functionality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ViO9JcaplA

This is right after Matthew discovered my tupperware cabinet. Ellie decided to join his game, then tried fruitlessly to get him to stop. Evidence of Matthew's sheer will, Ellie's bossiness, and his complete negligence of our reprimands.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUdtz5lmmY0

This is at the rodeo last Thursday. Ellie was JUST BARELY below the necessary 3 ft height, but they let her on two rides. We didn't realize how scary it was until after she got on. I think the most entertaining part is me, Jenn, and Yong cheering everytime Ellie and Peter flew by. She was not having nearly as much fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6sSuqarNVI