My March 11 Resolution

As a house church, we decided to make a new year's resolution of reading 5 chapters of the Bible a week. Fairly unambitious. I suggested it sort of condescendingly, thinking it would be the easiest thing to do. Three months later, I've read about 25 chapters.

So I have a One Year Bible, and I've re-resolved to start it up again. I would get behind and be all discouraged when my date was really off, so I decided to just read the entries for whatever the current day is, and squeeze in make-ups whenever I can. I really just want to be more in the Word, you know? I'm feeling a lack of wisdom and guidance these days...

I remember telling people that I was closest to God when I was invested in others' lives, like leading small groups or things to that effect. Um, hello? Being a mother is the greatest investment one could imagine. Yikes! I'm the center of their universe, their guide through life. No pressure! I really want to make an effort to have Ellie see me reading the Bible, praying, etc. This morning, Peter gave her cereal and told her to pray. She said, "Mommy no pray for cereal." She's right! I usually throw it in front of her while I get ready in the mornings. Bad Mommy.

People ask me all the time about growing up with my dad as a pastor, how it must've been such an awesome experience, spiritually. But honestly, I didn't really see my parents read the Bible or pray or even really talk about spiritual things or anything growing up. I mean, now we can talk about spiritual issues, but it wasn't this prevalent thing in our home, you know? My dad would try to do these Bible studies with me and Danny, but it felt really forced and formal to me. A daily spiritual walk just wasn't a part of our normal everyday life. I don't want that for my family, but we're totally headed in that direction already.

We went to this restaurant for lunch on Friday that had a playground. Ellie was bullying a couple of the smaller girls (yelling at one and pushing another). I told her not to be mean, and she responded, "But we don't like that girl." I went into this whole long deal about how Jesus wants us to love everyone, how that makes Him happy, etc. I think it had some impact on her, but not as much as when I said, "What if Abby pushed you and didn't want to play with you?" Abby being unhappy with her was much more threatening than Jesus being unhappy with her. That made me a little sad.

So anyway, pray for me. Pray that I will stick to this, that I will gain wisdom and be a better mother to my kids. Ellie's been trying my patience a lot these days. I DREAD the day she loses her nap for good...

Here's a video of her on her big girl bike. It's for her birthday. She got it early.