Judgmental

First - some random things.

Random thing #1: Someone asked me why I haven't been blogging much these days. The answer is twofold. Mostly because the kids aren't napping at the same time anymore, so when they do overlap, that time is super precious and usually spent eating chocolate and watching guilty pleasures on TV (The Hills, for instance). Also, because no one comments on my blogs anymore! I feel like I'm baring my soul to no one, to pure empty space. Kinda depressing.

Random thing #2: Matthew started trying to repeat after me today. Ellie had some snack that he wanted. He initially was yelling "ba!" as he usually does, but then I told him to say please. He looked at me, looked up thoughtfully, then said, "eesh!" Perhaps a fluke that time, but he DEFINITELY repeated "aya" after me when he pulled my hair, then said "Dada" and "Etty" when I told him to say Dada and Ellie. And he definitely knows the word "mamma" as in, Korean baby word for food. I am distinctly "uma" and food is distinctly "mamma." More like frantic yelling of "mamma!" at the sight of food, when the food given to him has been eaten up, and when I'm cooking. The kid can eat.

Random thing #3: The Azalea trail in Houston was this weekend. I didn't get to go, and I was actually really sad. It's the first year my mom and I didn't go in about 5 years. Really all it is is going to different rich people's houses and looking at their home decor and gardens. I usually don't care about the furniture and decor, but I LOVE looking at the gardens. And it was something my mom and I always did. So kinda sad. Beautiful weather, too. Last year they changed it to just one weekend as opposed to two. Last year, also, it was so hot they were shipping in ice to cool down the azalea bushes so as not to bloom to early. Ridiculous.

Random thing #4: I was always bothered by the spelling of "judgmental" and "judgment". Why is the e dropped? When I taught spelling to first graders, we specifically say that the letters "dge" are necessary to make the /j/ sound, so what the heck is up with that? So based on that, the word should be pronounces "jud guh mental." So there. Anyway...

So I realized lately that I am super judgmental. I remember back in youth group days, the big issues were judging people and gossip. Since my brain only remembers things that I learned pre-babies, I have all these verses memorized about judging, namely - Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

It really bothered me when I realized it. You know what it was that gave me the realization? I asked a friend if she had any pull-ups I could borrow for Ellie since it was late and Ellie was going to fall asleep on the way home (she still wears them overnight). I was expecting Dora or Princess ones, but it was some generic brand with circus animals on it. My initial reaction was, "What? They don't get DORA or PRINCESS ones? What's wrong with them?" My secondary reaction was, "Oh my gosh, did I really just say that in my mind?"

I don't know if it's the inundation of consumerism, but I look at brand names. Maclaren stroller? They must only get unnecessarily expensive stuff for their baby. Costco diapers? Stingy. Underwear without characters on them? Depriving their child. Clothes from Oilily? Money waster.

WHAT?!!? How did I get this way? Am I only this way about baby products? The answer is... no! Of course not! What's lame is that I see people wearing clothes that I myself buy from Old Navy and think to myself, "Can't they afford better clothes?" Uh, hello! Like my entire outfit including shoes doesn't cost under $30? What the heck is my problem?! At least I'm aware of it now and can consciously make an effort to change. And change I must.

The second part of that verse is very true - or you too will be judged. Being judged is one thing I am well aware of. When I'm out with my two kids, I get looks ALL THE TIME that say, "What is that high school dropout doing with two kids?" Now that my baby bangs are growing in, it's more like, "Why isn't that twelve-year old in school instead of taking her baby siblings out?" Argh. I'm know people judge me when they come to my house and it's constantly in a state of chaos. I know I'm being judged when I'm introduced as a doctor's wife in my less than $30 outfit and twelve-year old bangs. Heck, I probably judge myself even more than others do. The only good thing about it is that I honestly don't care that much what people think. I don't try to blowdry the bangs up. I don't try to dress older. I don't try to clean my house (maybe that one I should change). Whatever.

Anyway, I'm really judgmental. So sorry to everyone I've ever met in my life. I've judged you at some point or another. Probably multiple times. I'm really going to try not to. Sorry.

Here are some recent videos:
This is Matthew "singing" into the Echo Microphone, then quickly moving on to something more exciting. Just evidence that he can now gets functionality.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ViO9JcaplA

This is right after Matthew discovered my tupperware cabinet. Ellie decided to join his game, then tried fruitlessly to get him to stop. Evidence of Matthew's sheer will, Ellie's bossiness, and his complete negligence of our reprimands.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUdtz5lmmY0

This is at the rodeo last Thursday. Ellie was JUST BARELY below the necessary 3 ft height, but they let her on two rides. We didn't realize how scary it was until after she got on. I think the most entertaining part is me, Jenn, and Yong cheering everytime Ellie and Peter flew by. She was not having nearly as much fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6sSuqarNVI