Racial differentiation

I had the most interesting conversation with Ellie today. I always ask her who she played with when I pick her up from school. I noticed she never mentioned Elle or Lauren, two little blond girls. She doesn't mention Maddie, either, who is also blond. Anyway, I asked her if she liked them and why she never played with them. She responded, "Elle and Lauren are... different."

"Different? Different from who?"
"Elle and Lauren are different and Noah is different." (Noah is Chinese.)
"Who are Elle, Lauren and Noah different from?"
"Oh wait, I forgot. Noah is the same."
"Same as who? Same as you? Elle and Lauren are different from you? Who else is different from you?"
"Nobody."
"Oh," thinking it was a coincidental fluke.
"Michelle - sometimes she's same, too." (Michelle is Vietnamese.)
"Michelle is? Who else?"
"Sometimes Michelle, sometimes Hannah." (The Korean)
"What about Jacob?" (Caucasian)
"No, he's different."
"What about Emily?" (Hispanic)
"Emily is different. She's brown."
"What about Presley?" (the only Caucasian girl Ellie mentions)
"Um... I don't know!"
"What color is Hannah?"
"Brown."

Anyway, I just found this conversation FASCINATING. How interesting that she already sees the differences. Obviously, she doesn't really understand why or how or all that, but the distinction is clearly there. I forgot to ask her about Mira, the Indian girl. Curious to see how she'd answer. And intriguing that she differentiates Emily as being brown, but considers Hannah (who is actually quite pale) to be brown, also. That doesn't strike me as too odd because she's asked me in the past what color we were. I replied brown, but she usually responded that she wanted to be pink.

So the differences are recognizable this early on. Isn't that amazing?! She's already in the formative stage where how we explain and treat the differences will have a lasting impact on her mentality towards race. OK, maybe I'm jumping the gun a little, but if she's aware of the differences, what we say and do will definitely impact her. Crazy. She's not even three yet.

What's intriguing is her acknowledgment of differences with the complete innocence and naivety of toddlerhood. What's a little disturbing is the fact that she doesn't play with Elle and Lauren because they're different. Actually, the only people she does mention playing with are Hannah (who we were already friends with) and Presley, another Caucasian girl. Elle and Lauren are both kinda moody girls. Very serious. Not really her type. And that isn't just an excuse, it's true.

She's been saying some other things lately, too. None as deep as this, but pretty funny nonetheless. The past couple of nights she's been getting her Pull-Ups on and changing into her pajamas, then brushing her teeth and washing her hands all by herself. It's been a big deal. So tonight she didn't want to go to bed and refused to change. I asked, "What happened to my big girl who could do all those things by herself?" She answered, "She went away."

Also, earlier this week, I was playing with the kids an hour or so after dinner. I guess I served some gaseous food because Matthew was farting repeatedly. Then out of nowhere, Ellie announces, "Mommy. I'm farting like crazy!" The best part was that she was completely serious and matter of fact about it.

Some good news - Matthew is finally crawling proficiently! He used to scooch around, then cry when he saw me because I wasn't holding him at that exact moment. Now he smiles like crazy and does this very stompy crawl to me. Here's a video: