America loves Asians

Check this out:
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor13/community/popularity/

Interesting, huh?

Downwardslopingarchlessmessybrows

I brought Ellie with me today to get my eyebrows threaded. Every time I go, the Indian ladies comment on the fact that I have no arches. Once one lady decided she could give me arches, but I ended up with pencil line thin brows, which were even less flattering.

So Ellie is watching me get threaded and tortured for the sake of beauty, and she declares afterward, "Your eyebrows pretty, Mommy." Rather than being flattered or touched, I look sympathetically at my sweet girl with her downwardslopingarchlessmessybrows and sigh sadly. Soon, my dear Ellie, you too will need to get your brows threaded. I'm sorry that you inherited your brows from me (although Peter's brows weren't necessarily a better alternative).

I've come to realize that my kids have inherited my butt and thighs. Unfortunate for all. Ellie, now potty trained, had difficulty pulling her underwear up past her butt by herself. Her thunder thighs bulge out of her ballet leotard, and she, like Mommy, gets perpetual wedgies. I'm hoping it's more baby fat than anything else, but Matthew's thighs are quite bulgy as well.

Another thing Ellie inherited? My crowded-crooked teeth. We went to her first dentist appointment this week. Everything was fine, but the dentist expressed some concern that Ellie's teeth were already crowded. She confirmed that Ellie would definitely have braces, no question about that. Sad.

So that's what Ellie got from me. Downwardslopingarchlessmessybrows, bulbous butt, thunder thighs, and crowded-crooked teeth. Everything else, apparently, is from Peter.

Or is it? Peter figured out how to scan pictures and upload them, so here is photographic proof that my children do resemble me at some point in my life. I'm so tired of everyone saying they look like Peter. You carry them around in your body for so long and get no physical recognition for it. Sheesh.

First I look like Matthew in a dress:


Then a few pages later, Ellie with thicker hair:


Right?! Are you with me?! Notice the two sets of pictures don't look like me at all. They don't even look like each other. Makes sense since Ellie and Matthew don't really look alike. So maybe someday one of my kids will look like I do now. We'll see.

Rowr.

Survivor

Are people watching the new Survivor? I haven't watched it since college, but since my friend's ex is on it, of course my interest is piqued.

In case you don't know, it's all controversial this season due to separating tribes by races. There's the Hispanic, Caucasian, African American, and Asian American. I think it's interesting that the Hispanic tribe isn't called Hispanic American. Like, why is it OK to be just plain Hispanic, but to be called just plain Asian is slightly racist? Jieun? Hmm...

I can't tell if people are just falling into the stereotypes or if the producers are hamming them up. Probably a little of both, I'm sure. I was about to list some examples, but some are just so darn racist that I feel bad writing them down. The African Americans are very sensitive to the labeling, it seems. They feel a lot of pressure to "represent", as they keep saying. In addition to winning challenges and whatever, they say that they have to present themselves well, for the sake of their race, more so than the others. That's kind of interesting.

The Asians are certainly "representing", having won both challenges so far. Despite the annoying old guy (who's only 6 years older than the Filipino girl), they've come up with good strategies and work together well.

I wonder if any of the non-Caucasians are white washed and feel uncomfortable in this grouping. I feel like amongst Asians, each nationality can get clique-y. If you hang out with Asians, it's almost always just those that are the same nationality as you, you know? I guess there are two Koreans and two Filipinos. I wonder if the Filipinos have bonded like the Koreans have.

I sort of think Yul could win this thing! He already found the immunity idol. To be honest, I'm not sure what that even means, but I'm fairly certain it's a good thing. The Hispanic tribe decided he was the strongest player in the game and sent him to Exile Island (which I don't fully understand, either). Why is Exile Island bad, aside from the seclusion? He got a chance to find the idol, so that's good. Besides, there are cameras on him all the time, so he's not exactly alone, right? I wonder if the crew is forbidden to talk to him or anything like that.

The show keeps referring to this as a social experiment. Just seems stereotypical so far. Not so much racist, but cliche. Interesting, though. Another reality show to add to my DVR list.

Bad bad manager

By the way, I talked to the manager at the Woodlands Gymboree today about complaining about Pilar, and she gave my number to the District Manager. I'm so looking forward to talking to her. Also, I got another email from customer service today that said my complaint was being taken to the District and Regional managers. The person even mentioned Pilar in her email. Peter thinks I need to get others to complain about her, too. Anyone with me?! Maybe I'll start a petition...

Differences

Even in utero, I sensed a big difference between Ellie and Matthew. Matthew would pummel me internally. Like there would literally be times when he'd kick, and it felt like I got the wind knocked out of me. My OB said it was partially due to the fact that I had low amniotic fluid with Ellie that I didn't feel her so much, but Matthew was constantly moving then and hasn't stopped since.

Parents often say they feel guilty about their second/third/whatever else kids because they don't get as much attention or whatever as their firstborn. While that's true, I've also discovered that with the second, you kinda fix mistakes you made the first time around.

Ellie: I either nursed her or rocked her to sleep for a year and a half, then one of us would lie down in bed with her until she fell asleep (for awhile, it was BOTH of us) at night, or drive her around until she fell asleep for naps pretty much until very recently.
Matthew: For naps, I put him on his tummy and stick the binky in his mouth. He's out within a couple of minutes without crying. It's WONDERFUL. And he likes napping!

Ellie: I got a baby book and wrote down the dates of all the "firsts" listed (first smile, first step, first haircut, etc.).
Matthew: I got a first year calendar so whenever ANYTHING happens, I write it down. When did Ellie try butternut squash? I don't know. When did Matthew? That would be September 15!

Ellie: One of us would have to sit in the backseat with her, especially at night, as she would scream her head off in the carseat until she was about 8 months.
Matthew: Screamed his head off in the carseat until he was about 2 months. Now he's totally fine and enjoys looking at himself in the mirror.

Ellie: Rejected the bottle at 4 months due to Mommy's laziness in pumping. I couldn't be apart from her for more than a few hours... ever.
Matthew: Gets a bottle daily and chugs to his heart's content. Mommy can go shopping. Or get a pedicure.

Alice said she babied Ryan more because he was, well, her baby. I kinda feel like that, too. I don't know if it's a gender thing or what, but I feel very differently towards Matthew than I did towards Ellie at this stage. Not bad, different. Just different. I always told people that Matthew was harder than Ellie, and he was as a newborn, but he's gotten a LOT LOT easier.

Here's something interesting. I've decided that I want another baby. Not anytime in the near future, mind you. Definitely after Matthew's potty trained. I am still in my twenties, after all. I really can't foresee us stopping, although we said we would when Matthew was first born. I love babies. I love MY babies even more. Anyway, the realization of this desire was kind of a shock to me. Not unexpected to most, I'm sure.

Evil Gymboree Manager

I wonder what it would take to get someone fired. As someone who works for a large corporation, a manager of a small store is really someone pretty piddly in the grand scheme of things.

Anyone who has shopped at Town and Country Gymboree knows who I'm talking about. Pilar. (Imagine me saying this with a scrunchy face and a whiny voice.) She is so extremely rude that I go out of my way to avoid her. I discovered she doesn't work weekends, so I try to shop there then. I also went to Willowbrook once so I wouldn't have to see her. I shop online and pay shipping to avoid her. Ridiculous!

She is courteous and helpful to two types of people: other South Americans, and rich white Memorial-y ladies that leave with multiple shopping bags. To me (and almost every other one of my friends who shop there), she is rude, abrupt, and acts all annoyed. Today Jenn and I were there. Pilar and the other manager were at the registers with a customer, so we got in line. We had been waiting about 5 minutes when Pilar finished. Instead of checking me out, one of her "friends" just goes to the register. Jenn was like, "Are you going to say something?" I replied sadly, "I never say anything." Because as shameless as I am, as angry as I am, I am first and foremost an avoider of confrontation.

What ended up happening was that the other manager cut in and told Pilar that we had been waiting. So she gets all annoyed and rings me up, then gets even more annoyed when I use a merchandise credit I have, then all reluctantly asks if I need a gift box (which I did). After she was done, she started turning to her friend again (who I think was complaining in Spanish), looked at Jenn and asked all huffy, "Were you waiting, too?" Rings Jenn up, asks angrily if Jenn needed a gift receipt (yes), then angrily punches the register keys to get her one.

I really wanted to tell her off. OK, not really tell her off, but do it in my meek polite way. "Excuse me, I'm just wondering why you find it necessary to be so rude to me and my friend for checking us out when we had been waiting in line." I really wanted to say it in front of her "friends" to see how she would respond. I'm fairly certain she wouldn't have apologized. Jenn was saying that maybe Pilar wasn't aware she was doing it. Silly Jenn, newcomer to Town and Country Gymboree. Oh yeah, she knows.

So I actually wrote an email complaining about her to customer service about a month ago. I specified exact things she says and does that make me feel unwelcome, to the point of dreading shopping there. I said that several friends feel the same way. I didn't play the race card, but maybe I should've. Grace said that she saw Pilar at the Galleria Janie and Jack, so we got all hopeful thinking she'd been transferred. Alas, she is still there.

Anyway, I got a response from them. It wasn't a form letter, so I was feeling pretty hopeful. They were very apologetic, said they appreciated my letter since direct customer input was the best way to identify things that needed to be changed, etc. Apparently, it didn't really have an effect. Peter thinks it's ridiculous, the effort I take to avoid this lady, but she really is a rather yucky lady. The evil part of me wants to get her fired. I wonder what it would take. I wonder if I could get enough people to sign a petition or something. Should I play the race card? Is that just being evil? My class got a substitute teacher fired in 6th grade. Granted, he really was a big jerk and shouldn't have been subbing in elementary school, but the power trip it gave us was overwhelming.

Geez. I just want to get some cute clothes for my kids. Why does it have to involve such drama?

Tidbits

Matthew slept 11 hours straight the other night. That is, I turned off the monitor and didn't go to get him until 11 hours had passed. This crying it out thing is painful. I didn't mind getting 6 straight hours of sleep, though. Hooray! Thought I'd post some videos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eA2WNaC-T0s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_ofIvJOA-M

We changed ballet schools, following Ellie's original teacher to one of her own studios (she had quit in August). The new teacher the first school had hired was hardcore ballerina/non-nurturing preschool teacher. She actually yelled at Hailey because Hailey wanted to be held, then she yelled at Hailey and Ellie for lying on the ground. Then she made them do EVERY ballet move known to man during the 45 minutes. Ballerina Nazi teacher. Here's a video of her doing some moves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nITp5dCrpRE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15KaXjKkCjI
This is another I came across from when she was about 15-16 months, I think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPvBK7u-zVc

I watched Akeelah and the Bee last night. Reminded me of Bring It On. And Take the Lead. And Mad Hot Ballroom (OK, that was a documentary, but still). And the TNT movie about the teacher with Chandler as the teacher. In other words, predictable and feel good to the point of cheese. It made me reminiscent of my spelling bee days. I actually went to County in 7th grade. My mom had made me study daily, and I hated it. So when I found myself in the top 4 at County, knowing the top 3 went to State, I blew it on purpose so I wouldn't have to study more. I said "f" instead of "ph". When I returned to my seat, my mom looks at me glaringly and says, "That was so obviously ph." Then she didn't speak to me for days.

There was a cold front in Houston. 2 glorious days of highs in the 80s. We're back in the 90s now. And that was fall and winter.

I'm trying to experiment more with cooking. I have to say, Food Network really inspires me. We hosted house church this week, and nearly everything I made was from some Food Network show. I forgot to salt and pepper the flank steak. Oops. Very important. Too bad there isn't a Korean food show. I think if I watched it, I'd be inspired to make more Korean.

I can't stop buying clothes for my kids. My specific weaknesses are shoes for both of them, cute tops for Ellie, and button down shirts for Matthew. You should see their shoe basket. Granted, Matthew only has 3 pairs of shoes, but the child can't even sit up yet. And Ellie has, like, 3 pairs of boots. Sigh. Gotta get a grip on this.

Ellie's stubbornness is getting stronger. Christen was over the other day, and I told Ellie not to do something in front of her. She got all haughty and wouldn't apologize or obey me. It's like she didn't want to lose her ground or something. It was pretty fascinating, actually, evidence of inherent sinfulness. It was more interesting when you take into account that she doesn't behave that way when we're alone. Another thing is that she behaves differently with Christen than her other friends. They're almost competetive with each other. I totally see them as being the catty kind of friends growing up, especially as teenagers. Love-hate, gossipy about each other, etc. Sad, isn't it?! It upsets me. Hopefully it's a phase they'll grow out of.

That's it for now. I posted some new pics on my flickr thing if anyone's interested!

I survived.

Ellie's first day of school was yesterday. OK, it wasn't really her first day of school, as Peter kept pointing out. First day of Mothers' Day Out, but still. First day being apart from me, aside from when I had Matthew. I thought I might cry when she went in, but I was positive I'd lose it if Ellie cried. Neither of us did, so that was good.
Everyone was saying not to worry, that she'd love it. I wasn't ever really worried about her. I was more worried for me! In fact, Ellie was too excited to go into class to notice me almost crying. A tiny evil part of me was hoping she would cry, just to validate her need for me, but all the other moms were saying I need to be grateful that she liked school. There were a heck of a lot of other kids crying. I'm sure I would've been a complete mess if she had cried.

Her analysis of the day included the following facts: she had five friends, two boys cried and "that" (pointing to a girl) did as well, she did paint, Mrs. Meier read a story, they sang Wheels on the Bus, she tried and tried to pee pee but couldn't, she likes the assistant teacher more than the head teacher, the color of the week is red (true) and sometimes yellow and orange too (not true), and she and Hannah were good girls, not naughty girls.

Anyway, I needed some time to process it, and I think I'm OK now. My baby is truly growing up. She's potty trained, she goes to school, she has chores, she knows her birthday and how old everyone in our family is (BTW, Peter is 25 for some reason), she knows how to use the remote to get Dora from the DVR... Sigh. Clearly, she still loves me the best. What's funny, though, is that she's somehow learned to be diplomatic. Peter was home today, and we were all just chatting. I go, "Ellie, who's your most favorite person in the world?" She looks at us and says, "Both of you." Nice.

What is up with my unhealthy attachment issues? Lucky for me Ellie is more independent than I. She actually has an ideal amount of attachment to and independence from me. She wants me around, but is fine if I'm not. Not that I don't appreciate my time away from her, but I like hanging out with my little girl. She cracks me up. The other day she asked me, "Mommy, I talk constantly?" The answer would be yes.

So now that I'm over my depression (for the most part), I think I'll start really valuing the time away from her soon. After all, it is called Mothers' Day Out. How interesting it'll be to only need the single stroller. And now that Matthew's bigger, I can bring the single umbrella stroller. Weird. I'm going shopping tomorrow.

So thanks, those who worried about me. I made it! Oh, and Ellie did fine, too. :)

Memories...

How far back do we remember? My first clear memories are of preschool. I remember getting in trouble for licking markers when they were dry, I remember James Kim coming home from kindergarten (they were using our address, I believe, so he could go to our school), I remember graduating from the nursery at church to the children's service.

Then I have these memories that have obviously been dramatized in my mind. We visited Oregon once and Grandpa John had gotten this car with cruise control. It was the first time anyone in the car had experienced it, so we were cruising through some hilly roads. I was sitting in the back on someone's lap (unbuckled, of course), and I opened the door while the car was moving. I'm fairly certain what happened was that the adult on whose lap I was sitting reached out and closed the door, and that was the end of that. In my mind, however, I very clearly remember gripping on to the handle and flying for several minutes as the door flung outward and the car was driving at top speed. Another memory I have is in first grade when Gus threw up on me/my desk. I think he just kinda threw up and some spilled on me. What I remember, though, is him gagging a few times, then the momentum of his projectile vomiting throwing him backwards across the room.

Another strange thing is that I remember so much from elementary school. Like two Christmases ago, Danny and I realized that, together, we could remember all the lyrics to a song we sang in elementary school choir (he remembered the chorus, I remembered the verse). But ask me what someone said to me two days ago, and I'm clueless. I've found that my brains have withered away since I got pregnant with Ellie. Then I just got stupider and stupider after she was born, then with the second pregnancy, and now Matthew. My excuse for everything is that I have no brains. It's like that movie Memento. I have to write down on my hand why I'm going to the kitchen so when I get there I know what to do.

One thing about Ellie that always really impresses me is her memory. She remembers all kinds of things. Like when we went to NY in November, everytime she saw my cousin Pete he was sleeping since he works nights. Then when we saw him again in August, she was like, "Uncle Pete awake? He not night night?"

We were playing at Hailey's a couple of weeks ago, and she was riding Hailey's little trike. She loved it, so I said nonchalantly that maybe we'd do another potty chart so she could get a bike. Then we were at Pottery Barn Kids today and had these reward certificates to use. We had about $30 left, so we got her the vacuum cleaner. I said, "Ellie, Mommy and Daddy got you this vacuum because we're so proud that you go poo poo in the potty and have no accidents!" She says to me, "Oh! I get a bicycle later then?" Oops.

The most recent thing she did that impressed me was remembering lyrics to songs she listened to before she could really talk. We have this DVD of Jana Alayra, this children's praise music writing lady from Saddleback. She used to watch it everyday before she turned two. She'd try to do the motions and stuff and sing along, to the best of her ability. She got tired of it, I guess, and hadn't watched the DVD in several months. I played it again for her last week, and she's totally singing along with all these songs. Crazy! It's like she knew the words back then but lacked the physiological and neurological capabilities necessary to produce them. Seriously, isn't that crazy? Crazy. I wonder if she, too, will be stupid after two babies.