What am I doing wrong?

So Ellie has become this violent bully... but only to a small exclusive group. Namely, Christen, who is SUPPOSEDLY one of her best friends. Poor Christen just sits and takes it, which just makes it even sadder. Her mother has taught her to take Ellie's hand and say gently, "No no, Ellie." We'll see how long that works.

The whole nature vs. nurture debate is so intriguing to me. How much control do we actually have over our children? I remember when her personality was first developing. I kept thinking, she came OUT of me. I should be able to control her every move and thought. But alas, tisn't true. We don't spank her, none of her friends hit, and no one has really ever hit her. Where did she learn it? Is aggression an intuitive thing?

Anyway, Peter and I were discussing who Ellie was more like, personality-wise. He said him because she is social and adventurous. I said me because in actuality, she is kind of a weenie and needs her time alone every day. Then I wonder if she follows my pet peeves and inclinations because she's with me all day, or if her personality actually is like mine. Actually, her personality was more like Peter's earlier on, when she was sweeter and kinder. Sad that as her behavior gets worse it resembles mine more. :P